Saturday, July 12, 2008

Why can't I act like I'm 4?!?!?!

Okay, I am usually quite a talker and can talk to anyone. I do not have any problems in that department. I also am usually pretty good on a social level. I "try" and stay away from talking politics and religion (down in these here parts) and I keep a smile on my face.

Some might find me a little loud...once in awhile a little obnoxious. I do not need to be carried (as my mother always used to say) and for the most part I do think that I am approachable.

Then...why is it so hard sometimes to make friends?!?!?!

Geordie makes friends everywhere he goes. The other day I finally figured out his secret!

We were at the skate park and Geordie was skating around with a little boy (who was about 6/7) for a bit and then he says, "hey, you want to be friends". The other boy agreed and off they went.

Geordie and his friends! He just calls them all Dude!
(Geordie is the small one in the blue helmet)

This week Geordie was in soccer camp. I highly recommend it!!!! It's great!!! If you have one in your area put your child in it. If you don't talk to your rec dept. This was Geordie's second year.

Day 1; we get there and I put my seat next to a group of mothers, ALL with syrupy southern accents. Tried to add to the conversation here and there. Conversation was around people at church. Someone asked what church we go too. I said we didn't.

Usually this is where I put in the bit of how we are 'associated' with a certain church and throw out a couple of names as we have found (and felt) that we need to do this to be accepted. But I'm tired of doing that!

Got a couple of weird looks and that ended conversation with me!

Day 2; mothers are sitting in a new place I sit a bit away from them, but smile a greeting. Totally ignored. Truthfully, I'm a Princess and not used to being ignored!!!!

Day 3; don't even bother sitting by them especially since their chairs are put in a semi-circle 'keep out' way. Are we thirteen?!?!?!

Day 4; start up a conversation with another mother with 'blue states' plates on the way out. Plan on putting my chair next to her the next day.

Day 5; 'blue states' mother is not sitting with "the syrupy church crew" but is talking to a few as they just met the night before as her family recently joined the country club. Invitations were being passed out for something...I didn't get one!

Now, I do have some friends here and they have accepted me AS I AM (I think anyway!). When they start the church talk I do feel a little bit left out but I've gotten used to it!!

When we first moved down here and Callum's work had just opened everyone was making friends with each other as most were transplants. Unfortunately we were stuck in the middle of groups. There were those who were just married or just about to be married and then those with older children. We were six months pregnant, not fitting in with either.

It wasn't this hard when we moved to Toronto. Sure, we had a lot of friends from back home that were also living there but we also made a bunch of friends that we met there.

How do you make friends?!?!?

Do you ever feel left out?!?!



Marv said...

Remember how Allan talked of Grandad at his funeral and the values that he held. He never had a problem with people and their religion and he lived by Christien Values. as a Vetern of the war he say so much and had made took his values from what e was exposed to. sorry other people are so shallow and can not ecept you for who you are. love DAD

OHmommy said...

It is so easy to make friends when you are a kiddo. That is the truth, isn;t it?

Kellan said...

YES - it is hard making friends and YES I have felt left out many times. I have found that if I really want to make a friend - I have to focus on one in particular and "work" that one person. I tend to steer clear of groups and if the person I am "interested" in befriending is "open" it becomes obvious pretty quickly. I think it becomes harder and harder the older we get to make friends. People don't feel they "need" friends - you know - more than they already have or whatever. It is hard.

Hope you are having a good weekend and I hope you find that one really special friend soon. Kellan

Stella said...

Oh God, I could've written that! Sometimes it's just so hard. And sometimes I wonder if I try too hard. I think that wanting the friendships makes us try hard to find them and sometimes we have to sit back and wait for them to come to us or find us. That's the hardest part of all!!

I wish I could just share my snack with someone and go off and be friends! Life would be so much easier!

chelle said...

totally hard.
I try.
I try harder since having kids
secretly I have huge social anxiety
everyone that knows me does not believe it
it is true
I have started to make friends here .. ironically all the ones I really like are not from here how is that?

That or I hook up with psychos. *shudder* I have had TWO now.

Move back here and WE can be friends k?

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I'm amazed at how easily children befriend one another. It would be so easy if I could be like my 3 year old and go throw dirt on someone and them become my instafriend. I've felt left out before. I generally do in situations with other mothers.

Lost in Transition said...

It's definatly harder to make friends as you get older for some reason.

When I first moved here, I joined a hiking group with Paul and we met a few really great people, but they have since moved away, and the others are all quite a bit older than us and are in a different part of their lives than us. Most were looking for new mates to start their second or third marriage. We are just wanted to meet people our age, with similar interests.

I find dogmatic people ironic in their ways, they believe you do onto others as you would have done onto you, and taught to love other and respect others, but then as soon as you don't attend a certain "meeting" they freeze you out. I just don't get it. What I miss the most is having a good friend around to just do coffee with and have a good chat. I wish we lived closer!!! lol...

Lost in Transition said...

P.s To my first comment. You are a fun loving, open minded person. Don't ever change or sacrifice yourself in the name of fitting in. You are much to valuable for that! I will step off my soap box now..:)

Michele said...

You are living in my world!! Ever since I moved to Calgary, I have good friends, and nice aquaintances, but never the "take me as I am" friends from my early I feel old. I think we should all go back to elementary school and learn how to make friends again.....