Monday, October 20, 2008

It's my body and I'll cry if I want too!

Haven't felt much like writing anything recently.

Haven't been around much either.

The other day I read someone's blog and it mentioned some bad news. As she wrote, "if one wishes to share the ups in one's life, then one must also share the downs".

I have told of some things. Such as the house situation, my southern BFF moving away, being in 'lockdown', to name a few.

But this time, it's a little more personal.

...and for some it might be Too Much Information!!

So, here goes...

I'm not ovulating.

Due to all the stress that happened with the house last year, I stopped ovulating.

We found this out back in March. We had been 'trying' since November.

You see, Geordie was a 'first try'. Our second pregnancy was also a 'first try' but we miscarried (Nov/06) at what we thought was 8 weeks but it was actually 6. By the time we could try again we had decided to put it 'on hold' and move back to Canada.

Then everything with the house happened.

Once we figured out that we would be stuck here for a bit we decided to start trying again.

No go.

Went to the doctor and found that I was not ovulating.

I just finished up five cycles of clomid (2 to figure out the dose and then 3 with the 'correct' dose), where the medication only worked once. We found out on Thursday that my last cycle of it did not work. The office quickly put us in for an appointment Friday morning.

So now I'm on other medication AND another 3 cycles of clomid. If this does not work the next step is a fertility specialist. Which really, right now is NOT an option.

I was all for three years between my children, we are now working on five... or more!

I also wanted to be finished by 30! I'm turning 32 next month!

Geordie can not be an only child!! His personality is so in need of a sibling!!

In my bubble...none of this would have happened!!



chelle said...


It is way stressful wanting a baby and your body not cooperating. Telling you to relax is probably just going to irk you b.c I am sure you are trying to.

Hang in there and rant rave cray and type here that is what blogging is about.

Alison said...

I'm sorry. It took ten months with The Girl, and I wasn't able to talk to anyone about it, but each month was completely crushing.

Lost in Transition said...

I know it's easy for someone else to say, but really all will work out. Once things slow down, it will happen, right now you have a lot going on. Stress does crazy things to our bodies, believe me I know...I try to package mine up nicely with pretty bows and such but it still rears it's ugly head.

Take sometime just for you, do something you love, allow yourself to relax, not worry about deadlines.

Having not even started trying and about to be 32, I KNOW the sort of pressure you are feeling. But the less you fixate on it, the more likely it will happen.

Sending you nothing but happy thoughts! I know this will have a happy ending.

Michelle Kostya said...

oh dear I have been way behind in my blog reading. I hadn't read about all your troubles! And all this all at once. Poor you. You need a trip home.

Chantal said...

I just read all the back stories and that really is a lot of stress. I send you all the good vibes I have. Take Care of you!

mr + mrs ruddick said...

bravo, helen, for being so candid and honest. we need more people like you in this world (though minus some of the exclamation points) :) big hugs from hali! life happens sometimes in mysterious ways. i'm in the middle of my own mystery, and am trying to be patient to see how it unfolds...hang in there, babe! have a great visit with lynnie!

new diva said...

Sometimes our best layed plans turn out not to be the best. Hang in there, I believe all will work out for you!

xup said...

Life doesn't always happen according to a schedule or a plan. You have a gorgeous son and he'll be fine even if he is an only child or a much older brother. Things will happen or they won't and you and the world will keep on spinning. You just have to make the most of the curve balls thrown your way. Meanwhile, I'm sending you some good vibes to wake up those ovum.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Not TMI, never TMI when you need to share. And you should have yourself a good cry too. I'm sending positive thoughts, peace, courage, and prayers your way today.

A Buns Life said...

I'm so sorry....not many people know about secondary infertility or that it even can happen. Hugs to you, and we are always here for you....

Mandy said...

I am sorry to hear your news. I hope things work out better in the coming months.

We too are going through a crisis in our house and it has precluded me from commenting or posting much.

Does bad news go in cycles? Feels like it.

Kellan said...

Hugs and prayers, Sweetie - I will be sending up prayers for you and hoping it all works out and soon!!

Take care - Kellan

much more than a mom said...

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that.'re not old! I didn't start until I was 30.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Thanks for sharing--this way we can make sure we're keeping you in our thoughts and hoping things work out for you.

Stella said...

Hugs and wonderful thoughts to you!!

Thank you for trusting us enough to share that with us. It took a lot of strength.

Michele said...

From all that can be seen you are doing an amazing job with your little boy and regardless of what happens you are an amazing Mom! I hope you get all that you want...good luck!

A Buns Life said...

Are you doing ok?? It's been a week...I get worried about my bloggie friends after a week of silence.

Don Mills Diva said...

I'm sorry I'm so late to comment - I'm just catching up on my reading.

I feel this post. Really feel this post. I turned 39 last month and my boy will be three in two weeks...


That's all.

Lisa said...

I can understand what you're going through.

I've had two pregnancies that resulted after one month of trying. When my son turned 3, I figured we'd start trying again and I'd get pregnant soon. But its been a long time and no other babies. And quite honestly, I'm ok with it now. I don't think my marriage could survive the stress of it now anyway.

There's nothing wrong with having only one child. Just am making sure he is surrounded by lots of friends and family.

Good luck.

Lisa said...

IN case my comment doesn't make sense, I miscarried at one point.